Nora Ephron,  1941 - 2012

When Harry Met Sally was/is one of my favorite movies of all time.  At its release (1989) I was still single after an 8-year marriage that ended in divorce in 1985.  Contrary to what some people think, I didn’t exactly blaze a trail in the relationship department during those years, but I did make some good friends with the opposite sex.   I've never thought there was anything wrong with that.  Sometimes those friendships would take an uncomfortable turn, however, when a male friend would reveal feelings that indicated an interest in taking our friendship to the next level.  I remember how my heart would sink, thinking that not only would it not work out, but our friendship would end.   I’d already spent 8 years married to someone I had considered to be my best friend and a high school sweetheart (although we went to separate schools).  That one obviously didn’t last.  My first try at a new relationship after the divorce was a nightmare (literally, and another story), and to say I was a little gun shy about the whole dating thing was an understatement.  I was comfortable just having male friends to chat with, commiserate with, laugh with, and hang out with sans any messy strings attached.  Just like having girlfriends but no clothes or nail polish was exchanged.   

When I saw the movie Sally’s character hit home with me.  I could so relate.  Yet, unlike in my own real life, I could sit there in real time and watch Sally make her mistakes, easily seeing that Harry was the friend she should break the rules for, and silently urge her to take that risk.  At some level I believe that movie gave me that pinch of extra courage I needed to try another relationship, for better or worse.  I did remarry and now, after 22 years, it’s been both better and worse.   Ha-ha!  (Kidding!)

Thank you Nora Ephron for writing that movie.  And thank you for those subsequent movies that also touched millions of us;  those timeless classics (Sleepless in Seattle  and You’ve Got Mail) proving no matter how much things change, matters and concerns of the heart stay the same.  And thank you for the more recent  Julie & Julia, proving  passions of common interests can weave us across time and place and connect us to those whom we admire.   May you rest in peace but your humor never die.

NOW THAT’S BULLY IN THE BANK!

Please don’t get me wrong--  I despise bullying and believe it should be a punishable crime if results in someone’s injury or death.  We’ve seen too much news about bullying and the horrible affects it leaves.  But let’s discuss the case of Karen Klein, the 68-year old bus monitor from upstate NY, whose video showing her being bullied by teenagers on a school bus went viral last week. 

Because of that vid, Mrs. Klein has received well over a half million dollars in donations from strangers around the country who felt bad for her.  Someone actually set up a donation account on her behalf and people actually contributed their own money to a “cause” I’m still not convinced IS one.  It supposedly started out as a $5,000 fund to send Mrs. Klein on a needed vacation, (I thought bus monitors get summers off).  And yet, a few days and a half million dollars later this lady’s now living as if she won a lottery?  I’m in total awe!!

I saw her interview this morning with Ann Curry on The Today Show.  Yes, she’s very much a grandmotherly type, has a good personality, appeared to have a pretty good sense of humour when speaking about her family, and in all likelihood, if I met her, would probably like her and enjoy her company.   So why do I feel so skeptical about her sudden charity windfall?  Why can’t I feel like others do and agree that she deserves such high compensation for being bullied by those boys on the bus?

Well, first of all--  she’s a bus monitor.  Isn’t her job as such to monitor kids on the bus and handle any bullying that may occur?  Why didn’t she take a firm stand when they started on her?  Had they bullied her before?  Did she ever report them?  I have to wonder if she let others on the bus be bullied and maybe that’s why the bullies knew they could away with it.   

Second of all--  The bus driver is heard talking to her.  Why didn’t the bus driver stop the bus and help her deal with the bullies?  Did she not believe it was all that bad?  She’s heard asking Mrs. Klein if she was crying, yet she did nothing to dissuade the bullying or help relieve Mrs. Klein’s stress.

In her interview this morning Mrs. Klein stated "I keep thinking, 'What have I done?' It's like I almost don't feel like I deserve it."   When Curry asked what she might do with all that money, she responded, "What would anybody do with that much money?" She added that she’d invest some of it and donate to charity.  Her daughter, who was sitting next to her during the interview, also chimed in that her mom would donate to charity.  At that point Mrs. Klein laughed and pointed at her daughter, saying, “Charity, yeah!”  Then she went on about her kids, explaining how they all need cars, that it was always something.  "They need, they need, they need," she said.   Ok, I wouldn’t begrudge her taking care of her family’s needs, but are they going to be her only ‘charity’ recipients?  What about setting up a fund to help victims of bullies or pay for mandatory classes bullies would have to take to learn better behavior.  She only mentioned that she hoped the people who set up the trust for her were being paid somehow.  She didn’t say she’d donate back to them though. Throughout the interview she didn’t tremble or seem too upset when retelling her story or seeing footage of the video.  I didn’t catch any mention she had to now seek ongoing psychological help for her torment. Sooooo…  was she truly harmed?

I can’t think of a valid reason why this lady is monetarily compensated for something she should have been able to handle as part of her job. Maybe I could see it if she were riding a public bus every day to get to and fro, and some mean teenagers who rode the same bus tormented her for days/weeks on end.  Shucks, I wouldn’t blame her if she knocked the snot out of them or beat them to a pulp with a cane!  But as it is, shouldn’t she of reported the kids and let the school take care of it?  If they continued, she could have taken it up with the school board or sued the kids and their parents.  Compensation should have first been sought through her job. I’m not aware she tried that.  Maybe she did though.  Maybe the video of her school board meeting didn’t get air play.  Maybe she won’t return to work in the Fall now that she doesn’t need the money. Maybe the school system will realize they were paying her for a job she clearly wasn’t properly trained to do. Maybe other school systems will take note and up the training for their bus monitors.  Maybe other bus monitors will cry bully in hopes of gaining like Mrs. Klein did.  Maybe someone will set up a fund for anyone and everyone that’s been or being bullied.  After all, shouldn’t other school kids, teachers, homeless people, wives bullied by their husbands, kids bullied by parents, employees bullied by bosses… shouldn’t they be compensated for their torment?  Tell us where those donation trusts are so the good hearted can send them money too! 

I know it isn’t Mrs. Klein’s fault someone set up a fund and all those people sent her money. But if it was me under the same circumstances, and I truly wasn’t scarred for life or suffered long-term injury, I’d feel very guilty about taking it.  I would hope I’d give it back or put it to some use for the greater good of the cause.

I wish her well with her newfound fame and fortune.  But where’s the lesson here? How is Mrs. Klein’s’ windfall teaching the bullies that their actions are bad??  Was this really a cause for compensating someone who, although clearly was bullied by those kids, worked where bullying is always a risk and it was her job to deal with it?  Isn’t it plausable that Mrs. Klein was having a bad day over other things like we all do sometimes, and those few minutes on the bus were her breaking point?   

Now before you judge me as some sarcastic, unsympathetic person for questioning this issue, please understand that I am the way I am due to some excessive bullying in my earlier years. But I’m sure if you send me some money I can overcome my ways…  ;-)

WHO’S SOURCING WHO?

By Carolyn Scott

06/24/12

Earlier on CBS Sunday Morning, a segment was aired featuring Katherine and Jared MacLane, who manufacture Polo shirts.  (Link provided below) The objective of this segment, as far as I could determine, was to justify why their shirts are better than other Polo shirts, & why they can sell their own brand for $155.00 as opposed to the $90.00 price tag other brands retail for.  They explained about the quality of cloth they use (purchased from France), how much it costs/yard, the buttons, thread, other paraphernalia, the paper it’s wrapped in at sale before placed into the embroidered bag given the customer at end of transaction…

Now while the price for the combined materials used was higher than those from say, China, by my not so remarkable math calculations, the retail cost still shouldn't meet $90.00, let alone their $155.00 even after markup.  However, since they were not made in China, but instead here in the USA, I thought about the higher wage base to workers here; perhaps insurance for them; the cost of leasing factory space & meeting US regulated safety standards, etc.   That overhead could indeed dictate a small privately owned business to mark up their product considerably higher.  More so, the fact they were putting Americans to work was somehow ‘settling’ to me, although I will probably never afford one of their shirts unless they have the sale of all sales on them!  That aside though, another reason I feel I may never be a customer of theirs is because of what I saw in the video clips of their factory.  Or better still, what I didn’t see.  As the clips rolled, aside from the blonde haired, blue eyed all American looking Mrs. Maclane, I didn’t see any black, white or American born looking folks aside from her.   I won’t say for sure there were no Americans employed there since I have no idea at this time of the actual size of their operation, number of employees, or status of citizenship of them on the whole, but it still bothered me that the workers featured in their clips more closely resembled the look of those employed by our outsourcers.    

This brought to mind a few questions:   Are their workers natural born or legalized citizens of the USA or are they only working on a Green Card basis?  If it’s the latter, why were they hired over out of work Americans?  Did any Americans apply?  Have Americans lost touch with such ‘hands-on’ type work that they won’t apply for labor jobs anymore?  Even if their employees are legal citizens, are they the only ones who, perhaps gained through our outsourcing to their countries, have the skill for those manufacturing/labor/technical jobs requiring hands-on abilities?  Do they not expect as much from the American business owner as US born citizens do? Do folks who buy their shirts at $155.00 even care about the reusable bag it comes in?  Believe me, I have more questions but I already feel I’m drowning in these! 

While getting in some ‘retail therapy’ last week, I stumbled across a lady’s Izod Polo shirt.  While Izod originated in London, 1922 & launched in the US in the late 1930’s, it, like so many other manufacturers now, outsources to other countries.  So granted, my new Polo was made in India, & it didn't come wrapped in paper inside an embroidered cloth bag, but I only paid $12.99; pretty easy on the change purse.  I even had $$ left for a nice cold ice-tea.  I’m pretty certain that, even if the tea was imported, it was brewed on the spot here in the USA ;-)

CBS Sunday Morning (link) http://www.cbsnews.com/8301-3445_162-57459467/how-the-cost-of-a-shirt-adds-up

Another interesting read:  http://www.mddionline.com/article/high-cost-outsourcing-china