Nora Ephron,  1941 - 2012

When Harry Met Sally was/is one of my favorite movies of all time.  At its release (1989) I was still single after an 8-year marriage that ended in divorce in 1985.  Contrary to what some people think, I didn’t exactly blaze a trail in the relationship department during those years, but I did make some good friends with the opposite sex.   I've never thought there was anything wrong with that.  Sometimes those friendships would take an uncomfortable turn, however, when a male friend would reveal feelings that indicated an interest in taking our friendship to the next level.  I remember how my heart would sink, thinking that not only would it not work out, but our friendship would end.   I’d already spent 8 years married to someone I had considered to be my best friend and a high school sweetheart (although we went to separate schools).  That one obviously didn’t last.  My first try at a new relationship after the divorce was a nightmare (literally, and another story), and to say I was a little gun shy about the whole dating thing was an understatement.  I was comfortable just having male friends to chat with, commiserate with, laugh with, and hang out with sans any messy strings attached.  Just like having girlfriends but no clothes or nail polish was exchanged.   

When I saw the movie Sally’s character hit home with me.  I could so relate.  Yet, unlike in my own real life, I could sit there in real time and watch Sally make her mistakes, easily seeing that Harry was the friend she should break the rules for, and silently urge her to take that risk.  At some level I believe that movie gave me that pinch of extra courage I needed to try another relationship, for better or worse.  I did remarry and now, after 22 years, it’s been both better and worse.   Ha-ha!  (Kidding!)

Thank you Nora Ephron for writing that movie.  And thank you for those subsequent movies that also touched millions of us;  those timeless classics (Sleepless in Seattle  and You’ve Got Mail) proving no matter how much things change, matters and concerns of the heart stay the same.  And thank you for the more recent  Julie & Julia, proving  passions of common interests can weave us across time and place and connect us to those whom we admire.   May you rest in peace but your humor never die.